Best Little Wedding Shop - Etiquette Tips

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	WEDDING ETIQUETTE TIPS Wedding Invitation Etiquette Bridal Shower Invitation Etiquette Envelope Etiquette Writing Thank You Notes Save The Date Announcements Wedding Guest List Etiquette Seating Your Guests Asking for Money as a Gift Bridal Shower Ideas & Etiquette The Researsal Dinner The Groom's Cake Wedding Survival Kit WEDDING INVITATION ETIQUETTE Wedding invitations selected by the couple are a personal expression of their love. This is their day and the invitation may set the tone for the type of wedding they wish to have, albeit traditional and formal or perhaps of a more casual nature. Once you determine the type of ceremony you wish to have you can start selecting your invitations. Here are some guidelines: If your invitations are fanciful and unusual, your guests will expect a non-traditional type of wedding. If your invitations are formal, your guests will expect a more formal wedding. You may wish to you special postage stamps. Children over the age of 16 should receive their own invitation. Invitations should be mailed six to eight weeks before the wedding date. Invitations should be sent to your bridal party and to the person performing the ceremony. Enclosure Cards Various types of enclosure cards may be selected in order to give additional information to your guests. Here are some examples: The Response card – This asks the guest to return the card to inform you as to the number of guests that will be attending your wedding. The response card should have a return date of approximately two weeks prior to the wedding. There should be a self-addressed return, stamped envelope included. Reception card – You may not wish everyone invited to the wedding be invited to the reception. This is when a reception card would be used. It would be enclosed with the wedding invitation and it would give the time and location of the reception. Map or direction card – Sometimes this enclosure is included when there may be many guests attending from out of town. Placement of Cards The Response should be placed in its own envelope. Put tissue paper over the invitation so there is no smudging. The invitation should be placed in the inside ungummed envelope, face-side down and face-side toward the flap. Any enclosure cards should be placed inside the envelope on top of the invitation. The inside envelope should then be placed in the outer mailing envelope face-side toward the flap. For more information on preparing wedding invitations, please visit our FREE TOOLS page to print out a helpful, illustrated list on the best way to prepare wedding invitations. Start searching for your WEDDING INVITATIONS now! BACK TO TOP BRIDAL SHOWER INVITATION ETIQUETTE Bridal showers are generally given by the maid or matron of honor, by family (not immediate) and by friends. Usually there is a theme to the shower, such as a kitchen shower, lingerie shower, tea shower, linen shower, etc. The hostess plans the shower and the theme. She is the one who sends the invitations after conferring with the bride. You do not want to send an invitation to someone not invited to the wedding. Here are some guidelines: Bridal shower invitations should only go out after wedding invitations are sent. Invitations should only be sent to those who will be invited to the wedding. Make sure a guest is not invited to more than one shower. Confer with the bride and select a date. Decide on a theme and select invitations that illustrate that theme. The theme of the shower (kitchen, linen, etc.) should be included on the invitation. Include the date, address and phone number of the hostess with an RSVP request. Some may wish to know where the bride is registered and that might be included in a separate note. If having a lingerie shower you may wish to include the bride’s size. You may wish to include the couple’s decorating colors for their home. The invitations should be sent out four weeks prior to the shower date. Some of the most popular bridal shower invitation ideas include advice cards, recipe cards & memory cards. BACK TO TOP ENVELOPE ETIQUETTE Most wedding invitations have an outer and inner envelope to address. Keep the following in mind: Use full names and do not abbreviate (except for Mr. and Mrs.). Spell out all names and do not use initials. Write out all words. No abbreviations for words such as “street,” “avenue,” “and,” the name of the state, etc. Here are some samples as to how to address both the inner and outer envelopes: Married Couple Outer: Mr. and Mrs. John Alfred Doe Inner: Mr. and Mrs. Doe Married Couple with Children Under 16 Outer: Mr. and Mrs. John Alfred Doe Inner: Mr. and Mrs. Doe Jeffrey and Susan Married Couple – Both Doctors Outer: The Doctors Jones Inner: The Doctors Jones Unmarried Couple at the Same Address Outer: Miss Sue Carpenter Inner: Miss Carpenter Mr. Jasper Single Man or Woman and Guest Outer: Miss Joan Drew Inner: Miss Drew and Guest BACK TO TOP WRITING THANK YOU NOTES Writing a personalized wedding thank you is very important. If you have ever spent time selecting a special gift for a special relative, friend or loved one, how would you like to receive the following: “Dear Mary, thank you for the silver tray. Love, Susan.” How would you feel? As much care should be given to writing the “thank you” as was given in selecting the gift. Here are some suggestions for writing your “thank you:” Handwrite all of your notes and be sure to order enough cards. A verbal “thank you” is not acceptable. Send “thank you” notes to those who have arranged showers and parties for you. You can thank them in the same card that you send to thank them for their gift. Use black or dark blue ink. Be timely! Usually gifts arrive before the big day. Try to write your “thank you” as soon as the gift is received so that you don’t get behind. Be sure to complete your “thank you notes” within two to three weeks, six to eight weeks at the very most, of the wedding. If someone has had a gift sent from a store they have no way of knowing if it was received unless a “thank you” is sent to them. Always start your “thank you” with a personal note: “We were so happy you could be there to celebrate with us…..” Mention the gift you received. Perhaps you could tell them what or where you plan to use the gift, this is a good idea especially when money is given: “ The gift you sent will be used to help purchase a special rug we have purchased for our new home….” “ The crystal vase is gorgeous and is currently holding some flowers from our garden….” If someone sent a gift but was unable to attend the ceremony, mention that you were sorry they weren’t able to attend, etc. Put your new return address on the card. Your guests will appreciate having your current address. Separate “thank you” notes should be sent for shower and wedding gifts even if you received a gift for each from the same person. You might wish to send a “thank you” note to the following: To your wedding party to thank them for helping you celebrate your special day. To your vendors for all of their assistance. I.E. Florist, Caterer, Planner, etc. Other Suggestions Use special postage stamps on the envelope. If you have a picture taken with the guest who gave you the gift you could include that with the “thank you” note. See our full line of DIsney®, Printed and Blank Thank You Cards! BACK TO TOP SAVE THE DATE ANNOUNCEMENTS You are engaged and you want to tell the world! Everything is booked and you want to be sure that your loved ones and friends will be able to attend your special day. What to do? Send out Save the Date Cards! These are sent to inform your guests of your future wedding so that they will keep that date free. These cards are not meant to be formal and can be fun to incorporate into your wedding planning. There are several reasons for sending out this type of card such as: If many of your guests are traveling to your wedding. You are planning a wedding at a faraway destination that will require flights and hotel bookings. You are planning your wedding on or around a holiday. Guidelines and Suggestions Save the Date Cards are sent from one year to four months before the wedding. You don’t have to send these cards to everyone you plan to invite to your wedding, just to family and friends who you want to be sure will be able to attend. The card should mention that an invitation will follow. Have fun selecting your announcement card. You might want to use the colors you have selected for your wedding. If selecting a destination like Hawaii use a Hawaiian theme. If selecting a holiday maybe incorporate something signifying that holiday. You may want the announcement to be a picture of your engagement announcement. You may want to include a travel and accommodations card. These enclosure cards will be helpful in providing your guests with hotel information and about local attractions. Have fun and be creative with your Save The Date announcements! One great idea is to send a Save The Date Magnet so your guests never lose sight of your big day! And, you can even include your photo on them! Another creative announcement, is our popular mini notebooks. To find that perfect theme, visit our full line of Save The Date Announcements. BACK TO TOP WEDDING GUEST LIST ETIQUETTE It is your wedding and you want to invite the world to celebrate with you! A bride has a picture in mind of the type of wedding and reception she wants. It may be big, it may be small. Small weddings may not be able to accommodate the number of guests the bride and groom wish to invite. Large weddings may prove to be too costly. Faraway destinations may cut down on the number of guests who would be able to attend. The bride and groom may both come from a large family. All of this needs to be kept in mind when creating a guest list. Here are some guidelines: Decide on the type of wedding/reception you are having and what you can afford. This will help you to determine the number of guests you are able to invite. Determine whether children will be invited. Perhaps you divide the guest list by giving the bride’s parents one third of the list, the groom’s parents one third of the list and the bride and groom the remainder one third. Or divide the list anyway that seems fit. If the bride and groom are paying for the wedding they may wish to create the entire list. You may want to start off with a fantasy list where money is no object and then start crossing off names. Include the spouse or partner of each person invited. Include the parents of a ring bearer and/or a flower girl. Include the person who is to perform your ceremony and their spouse or partner. Invite all of those who were guests at your shower because they have already been a part of your celebration. It doesn’t take long for a wedding list to get out of hand. When you have to start trimming the list remember that you want to invite people you care about and not those that you may feel obligated to invite. So start trimming that group first. The most important thing to remember is this is your wedding day, a day that you want to surround yourself with those who are most important to you. BACK TO TOP SEATING YOUR GUESTS Guest seating can be one of the trickiest parts of the ceremony given todays mixed and extended families. This should be discussed with both sides of the family long before the ceremony takes place. Here are some guidelines: The Ceremony Ushers may or may not be used. The rule of thumb is one usher for every 50 people. Traditionally the usher escorts female guests to their seats. He offers his right arm to the woman while the male guest follows behind. Ushers should try to even things out so that both sides of the location have an equal number of guests. The first 4 or 5 rows (depending on numbers attending) should be reserved for family, extended family members and other special guests. Immediate family is seated just before the ceremony begins. Siblings sit in the 1st row and are seated before the grandparents. The grandparents sit in the 2nd row. Step-relatives (make sure the usher knows who they are) should be seated first. For example a step-grandparent would precede a grandparent. These step-relatives could sit in a reserved row behind the family. In the case of the bride or groom’s parents being divorced, the one who primarily raised the bride or groom should be seated in the front row with his or her spouse and seat the other parent and his/her spouse in the 3rd row. Some may decide to share the front row. This needs to be decided in advance. The bride’s mother is the last to be seated. The groom’s mother is seated just before her. The Reception Seating guests again becomes a problem due to the nature of extended families in today’s world. Here are some guidelines: Consult with the location where the reception is to be held to determine the number of tables and the number of guests to be seated at each table. Ask for a copy of the seating plan so that you are able to create your seating list. The bridal party may choose to sit at a head table. Divorced parents of the bride and/or groom may want to “host” their own table and not be seated together. This may hold true for other family members or friends in this same situation. Close family and friends should be seated closest to the head table. Try to have similar groups of guests seated together. Some feel people should be separated in order to meet new people, but many people are not comfortable with this and it is important for your guests to feel comfortable and have a good time. Consider having a printed seating plan displayed at the entrance of your reception in order to assist guests in finding their seat. Have the names arranged alphabetically followed by their table number in order to speed up the seating. Have printed name cards on each table so the guest knows where to sit. Or better yet, try to set reserved tables rather than reserved chairs, so that guests have the option of where they would like to sit at their designated table. Place all items in a bag and ensure that a responsible person is given the bag on the day of the ceremony and then brings it to the reception. Make sure that your bridesmaids and groomsmen have access to the kit in case they need something. BACK TO TOP ASKING FOR MONEY AS A GIFT With more couples entering into second marriages, money is often a good gift to give. Most couples will already have established households and will not need the normal household items that might be selected for a gift. Surveys show that 60% of couples are now requesting money for a wedding gift. If this is what you desire to do, a brief note is sent out with the wedding invitations. It is often a good idea to state what you plan to use the money for such as a down payment on a home, furnishing a new home, etc. Giving generic (Visa – Master Card – American Express) gift cards are a little more personal than cash or a check and may be spent on a more memorable item than for groceries or paying bills. BACK TO TOP BRIDAL SHOWER IDEAS & ETIQUETTE Bridal showers are generally given by the maid or matron of honor, by family (not immediate) and by friends. It is good to have a theme for the shower. You would select your invitation and decorations to illustrate the theme of the party. Here are some guidelines for the shower: It is customary for the hostess to give a shower gift to the bride. The bride should open her gifts before or after the food is served but not during. Have a list of the guest names and have someone (not the hostess) record the gift that was given by that person or Write what gift was given on the back of the gift card. It is important for the bride and groom to have registered at some store. This will assist people in being able to select a gift they know is needed or wanted by the couple. If the shower has a theme such as: Kitchen, Bathroom, Lingerie, it is important to bring a gift that is applicable to that theme. A tradition of good luck is the Ribbon Bouquet. This is done at many bridal showers. Here is how it works: The person recording the gifts sits beside the bride. As the ribbons are removed from each gift the recorder takes it and sticks it into the center of a pre-punched paper plate. It is preferable to use one that matches the shower plate. When the bride is done unwrapping all of the gifts the plate will now have been created into a bouquet she will use at the wedding rehearsal. Visit our Bridal Shower Theme Invitations to get more great ideas! BACK TO TOP THE REHEARSAL DINNER Traditionally the rehearsal dinner is hosted by the groom’s parents. However, this is no longer a strict rule. Sometimes the bride and groom host the dinner or a group of friends may do so. The dinner is usually held at a restaurant but it may also be held in a private home or elsewhere. Here are some guidelines: Sometimes a different style of dinner than what is planned for your wedding is desirable. For example if your wedding is formal than plan a more casual rehearsal dinner. Some couples are having theme dinners such as a Hawaiian Luau, a clambake on a beach, or renting a cruise boat and having dinner on board. Make sure the menu is different than what you are serving at your reception. If you are having beef at your wedding select something different for the rehearsal dinner. It is not required to send out invitations to the rehearsal dinner but sometimes it is a good idea to do so. If you are expecting a large number of guests, you will need a head count for the restaurant or caterer. These invitations should be less formal than your wedding invitation. All of those who partake in the wedding ceremony should be invited. Spouses or dates of all attendants should be invited. Parents and grandparents of the bride and groom should be invited. You may wish to invite the parents of the ring bearer and/or flower girl but the children may be too young to attend. You may wish to invite other family members and out-of-town guests too. When all are gathered, be sure that everyone is introduced. It is nice to have the bride and groom go around the table and introduce the person with some personal reference. It is a good time to thank your parents. It is the time to give your attendants their gifts. It is becoming a practice to show movies/video clips of the couple when they were young. Some take pictures and enlarge them and have them on display throughout the room. Be sure to check out our Rehearsal Dinner Invitations! BACK TO TOP THE GROOM'S CAKE In ancient times it was believed that if a piece of cake was put under a single woman’s pillow, she would dream that night of the man she was going to marry. So the tradition is that the groom’s cake is a gift from the bride to the groom. The cake is usually a deep chocolate fudge or liquor-soaked chocolate. It sometimes is served at the wedding reception next to the bridal cake but more recently it is being served at the rehearsal dinner. Sometimes the cake is made in the shape of something representative of the groom, such as a fishing rod, basketball, computer, etc. BACK TO TOP WEDDING SURVIVAL KIT You have spent months and months getting ready for the big day! You look beautiful, your hair is beautifully coiffed, your makeup has your face aglow, the music starts and tears start to flow! What to do? Have an emergency “Survival Kit” ready. Here is what you need for your kit: Makeup remover to wipe off those mascara tears A hand selected assortment of makeup that matches your dress for any touch-ups needed Curling iron Blow dryer Bobby pins to secure your veil Sculpting gel Hair Spray Mirror Comb and brush Earring backs Scissors Nail polish that matches what you are wearing in case a touch-up needed Emery board for those little snags Clear nail polish to stop any nylon runs Extra pair of nylons in case of a bad run Needle and thread Safety Pins Toothbrush and toothpaste Breath mints Handkerchief – maybe more than one will be needed Tampons or pads – stress can bring on an unexpected period Aspirin and any other medications that you need to be taking Acid relief tablets Bandages Scotch Tape Masking Tape Super Glue Iron White chalk (use to cover any smudges on dress) BACK TO TOP For your convenience, we have provided handy checklists when preparing for you wedding. Go to FREE TOOLS and print your lists today!